This morning I received a text from my dad saying he misses my blogs, and it hit me it has been over a week since I have posted anything. This is not to say I haven’t been riding, it’s just that sometimes life keeps us moving at such a pace that we forget to stop, to breathe, to capture the moment.
This time of year is always a struggle, even before I began to ride. We begin coordinating our part of the largest tour we support, Ride The Rockies. It’s a monumental task and one that keeps us constantly behind the eight ball. Last year, this was the time of year where I began skipping Pilates and spin, and opting to work Saturdays instead of ski. This year I am trying to gain a little bit more balance, lunch time rides and dividing my weekend between the office and biking and climbing (skiing if we ever get any fresh snow).
One of the main things I love about both cycling and climbing is balance. The way you learn to shift to adapt, to allow for movement forward and upward. It’s always intrigued me how you can shift yourself so far into one aspect for an amazing move and bring yourself back into a complete even balance so seamlessly on a bike or a climb. If only it were this easy in life.
Balance is hard. We all know we need to work for money (I am lucky enough to actually love what I do and work for a great company, so this is easier for me than most). We also know we need to make time for our family, to create bonds and build relationships and create lasting memories. We also all have the daily/weekly/monthly to do lists that allow our lives to function (cleaning, cooking, groceries, laundry, etc). And somehow in the midst of this we also need to rest, both in body and in mind.
For many of us this leaves little time for ourselves. As a single parent, I struggle taking time away from my daughter to ride, or work out, or do anything for myself. And I know this is common for everyone. The constant struggle for a balance in life, a juggling act that sometimes feels as if you are walking on a tightrope. It sometimes feels like life is a series of choices we make daily that allow us to keep us walking this fine line of adult/partner/parent/friend. And often things are lost along the way.
I won’t lie. I have been a poor friend since I started riding. I opt for time on my bike versus coffee with a friend. I stay home if I have a race the next day instead of joining friends for happy hour. When I think of dating, I laugh. Unless he rides a bike alongside me, I probably have no time. Of all the things in front of me, I have chosen to put my daughter, my work, and my mental/physical health at the top. It’s hard. And the friends that do remain are the ones who know me and appreciate that I am doing something that makes me happy and its taking my time right now. And the positive of this is that while I am sure my avid riding has cost me some friends, it has brought others into my life. And I am starting to feel like this is what your thirties are about, honing who you truly are, finding what drives you, and allowing it to bring new people and opportunities into your life.